Looking Back on 2023: Learning to Let Go and Accept Life
Introduction
Hey everyone, it's me again. It's been a while since I last showed up here. Today is the 29th day of the Lunar New Year, and I guess everyone's getting excited about the journeys that await them in the coming year.
As the final days of the year go by, I find myself feeling a gentle, bittersweet current flowing somewhere deep inside. The unexpected turns, the moments of joy, and all the faces that crossed paths with mine over the past year come back to me one by one, like scenes in a movie.
I actually planned to write a recap of 2023 during the Gregorian New Year holiday. But every time I opened my laptop and tried to put a few thoughts into words, the ideas in my head seemed to fade away. It wasn't until today that I finally found the time and the right state of mind to sit down and put everything together.
2023 was truly a strange year for me. At 23, I experienced the full spectrum of emotions, from the highest peaks of happiness to the deepest, seemingly bottomless valleys.
Looking back, I feel that four major aspects of life shaped my journey throughout the past year. I'd like to revisit each of them and reflect on what I gained, what I lost, and how these experiences changed me.
Finance
I started 2023 with a small loss in my investments, and everything about my personal financial situation seemed rather bleak and uncertain in those early days. Fortunately, I hadn't fallen into debt, so I kept telling myself that little mantra investors love to repeat: "You haven't lost until you sell." :)
Back then, I was incredibly discouraged and slowly losing faith in the things I had believed in and pursued for so long. I started exploring airdrop opportunities and learning technical analysis. I missed one opportunity after another, until, eventually, luck finally smiled on me.
If I remember correctly, one evening in February last year, I received an airdrop worth roughly one and a half times my monthly income at the time. When that unexpectedly large amount of money appeared in my account, I found myself thinking, "Wait, is that all?"
My excitement lasted less than ten seconds.
The real reason my happiness faded so quickly was the feeling of regret. I had missed the opportunity to sell when the airdrop was worth three times my monthly income, and ended up selling at only one and a half times that amount.
It made me wonder: Is the pain of losing something really more haunting and painful than the joy of gaining something from nothing?
Ironically, after several rounds of accumulating and rebuilding my capital, all that money eventually disappeared in a wallet hack during the second half of 2023. And so, I found myself starting yet another cycle, one that continues to this day...
On the bright side, I learned how to manage my emotions and cash flow more effectively. I came to realize that there is no holy grail and no shortcut to getting rich overnight. Everything worth building takes time, patience, and consistent accumulation over the long run.
Career
Although I had technically graduated quite some time ago, 2023 was the year I finally attended my official graduation ceremony. It felt like a long-awaited, fulfilling conclusion to all the years of hard work and perseverance at the University of Technology.
Career-wise, I began 2023 by turning down a job offer that would have doubled my income, simply because I wanted to stay true to an ideal I had pursued for years: "Working in blockchain without working on coins."
I still don't know whether that was the right or wrong decision. But once I've made a choice, I try not to regret it, even when a part of me wonders what might have happened if I had taken the other path.
Then, around the middle of 2023, I officially decided to let go of a familiar and secure environment. I left a company where I had spent the previous three years to seek new experiences and opportunities to learn and grow.
Before leaving, I couldn't help feeling nostalgic about everything I had accomplished, everything I had learned, and all the wonderful people I had grown close to over those years.
A friend once told me something along the lines of:
"You need to let go of some things. Leave behind what you've done at your old company so you can make room to learn something new."
At my new workplace, I gained a great deal of knowledge, even switching to a completely different tech stack from the one I had worked with for years. I also had the chance to meet more wonderful people.
Of course, the new environment felt a little less stable and secure than the one I had left behind. But I gradually learned to accept the inherent uncertainty of life, face whatever came my way, and move forward without regretting the choices I had made.
Love and Family
When it comes to family, I'm genuinely grateful that despite a few unexpected challenges throughout the past year, my family remained healthy and safe.
Love, on the other hand, took me through quite a journey. I experienced the euphoria of being in love during the first half of the year, followed by a descent into a valley of pain and emotional turmoil during the second half.
The star-filled night sky, illuminated by the campfire we sat around together at Đồi Dã Chiến in Đà Lạt, will forever remain one of the happiest moments I've ever experienced, a memory I'll always keep close to my heart.
I chose to walk away for many reasons, including my own selfishness.
I wanted to devote myself entirely to the path I had chosen and build a solid foundation for my career. I was constantly burying myself in work, unable to give the other person enough time, attention, or care.
At the same time, I couldn't selfishly ask them to stay by my side forever when I couldn't offer a clear commitment to a stable future for the two of us.
I had made the decision to let go, but it took me another six months to truly release that attachment in my mind.
I changed my working environment, built new habits, deactivated my social media accounts, buried myself in work, and opened myself up to meeting new people.
In the end, I think it was only when we finally sat down together, honestly reflected on our relationship, and mutually accepted that it was time to let go that we could truly move forward on our own separate paths.
Health
My health wasn't particularly bad last year, but it wasn't great either. I still dealt with a few minor illnesses that had followed me since childhood, things I had grown so accustomed to that they barely surprised me anymore.
I started building healthier habits, only to gradually forget about them along the way. Still, everything turned out fine by the end of the year, and I'm grateful for that.
I once heard someone say something that has stayed with me:
A healthy person has a thousand dreams. An unhealthy person has only one: to be healthy.
I have plenty of plans and dreams for the coming year. I just hope my mind will remain strong enough and my body healthy enough to embrace the experiences ahead and face whatever challenges come my way.
I'm not particularly concerned with living a long life. I simply want to remain healthy enough to live deeply, to gather as much valuable knowledge as I can, and to experience the meaningful lessons that life has to offer.
After Everything
After everything I went through, after all the unexpected events and conflicting emotions of the past year, I feel a sense of relief and peace as I sit down to look back on it all with a mindset of acceptance and letting go.
Acceptance has helped me realize that my ability to control things is limited. I cannot make everything unfold exactly as I want it to. Instead, I need to learn to accept reality and work with the external factors and circumstances that lie beyond my control, while acknowledging the areas where I still have room to grow.
Letting go has brought more peace to my mind. Rather than stubbornly clinging to the past and holding on to things that have already happened, I've learned that releasing them can make my heart feel lighter and leave more room for new experiences and possibilities in the future.
Be grateful for those who leave, and cherish those who stay.Thank the past, the present, and the future.May this very moment last forever.
— MCK, aka Nger
I'll close out the old year with a bright, joyful photo of myself from 2023.
Thank you, and I'm sorry, to everyone who came into my life, stayed by my side, or eventually walked away over the past year. Each of you has left something behind, and I'm grateful for the part you played in my journey.
Wishing everyone a peaceful New Year. May you find strength in your heart, clarity in your mind, and the serenity to keep moving forward, one small and steady step at a time.
Happy Lunar New Year 2024!
TC, February 8, 2024 — the 29th day of the Lunar Year of the Dragon